So sorry

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

   “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." --Matthew 23:13, 15

(First of all, for those who notice such things: If you want to see verse 14, you will need to go to a Bible and check out why there is no verse 14 here.)

Sunday again. . . . 

Donald Miller's wonderful book Blue Like Jazz, which comes out in movie form in April (and no, I do not get paid for this plug), has a wonderful scene during an annual festival on a college campus, in which some of the college students set up a "confessional" booth. Students who have been partying over-the-top and begin to sober up with guilt attached go to the booth, expecting there to be a person there to receive their confession.

Instead, they find someone dressed as a monk, but he is the one confessing the sins of the Church over the centuries. Confessing, for instance, the horrible way Christians behaved during the Crusades, "in the name of Jesus."

It is a powerful scene. And it is in that vein that I am writing today. 

These are tough verses, when Jesus begins the "woe" passages. Even as in his time he was addressing the Pharisees, we are guilty of many similar behaviors today (or at least I am.)

So-- if I have ever implied that I am the one standing at heaven's door deciding who's "in" and who's "out," I am sorry. This is not for me to decide. This is a heart-to-heart conversation between you and God.

If I have ever made it seem as if someone's conversion is somehow less genuine, less acceptable than my own, I am sorry. Some believe a "true" conversion is like a flash in the dark, as Saul was struck on the road to Damascus; but John Wesley wrestled for years before his "Aldersgate experience" when his heart felt strangely warmed. 

I believe sometimes it takes a long time of gently coaxing the flame to life, puff after gentle puff of Spirit breath bringing the soul to accepting God's perfect grace. That's how it was/ has been for me. If your journey into Christ's loving arms has been different-- who am I (or anyone) to judge? 

And if I have ever led you to Jesus, then left you to handle life alone after that moment-- I am so sorry. Our journey together should not end when you join the Family of Christ. The path may change, our lives may drift apart or take new directions-- but know, always, that I am here if you need me. If life gets crazy and you need my ear-- you may have both of them. Please ask. Or better yet, don't ask. Tell me. There is a difference.

Life keeps going, changing. Our God is not a static, unchanging deity, but lively, growing, ever-on-the-move. And God is that way because God chooses to travel with us. God does not insist that we remain the same; in fact, I imagine God would be a wee bit disappointed in us if we did.

We are all on this trip together, with a common destination: the Reign of God. Not one of us is God. Not one of us can dictate where the road will go or how it will be travelled. But this I know: God is travelling with me and God is travelling with you.

And that is good enough. No reason to apologize for that.

Lord, may my heart seek your direction as a compass seeks true north, and may my words never be the stone that causes another to stumble. Amen.