Oh, that snooze alarm

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, 

or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 

We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 

--1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Sunday I came upon a quote from Thomas Merton's book, Seeds of Contemplation:

‎"It is not we who choose to awaken ourselves,

but God Who chooses to awaken us." 

Merton is one of my favorite contemplatives. While sometimes some contemplatives seem "out of touch" or just too detached, Merton usually strikes a note with me. So it was with this quote, as I thought about my own life.

God woke me up fairly early in life. I was a teenager when I had that "heart-warming experience" we Methodists know so well from John Wesley's own writing. But I just kept hitting the snooze button.

By the time I finally became aware, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and did a spiritual yawn-and-stretch, I was well into the fourth decade of my life.

And even now, as I consider myself much more "awake" than I used to be, there are so many days when I am still just sawing logs, sleeping away, mostly oblivious to the work God is doing in me, with me, through me.

And that is okay, I think Merton would say.

I can desire to get up and be about what God has planned, but until God wakes me up and puts my feet on the floor, until God says it is time, all my efforts are only marginally relevant. 

I can do all manner of good things, but if I have not the love and awakening of God in my heart, I am nothing, a clanging gong or clashing cymbal.

So I suppose my point, such as it is, is that we can do what we do, feed the hungry, clothe the poor, all that great and necessary stuff, and one day, God willing, it will all make sense why we have wanted to do this all along: Because it was first done for us, in one way or another.

And when that "aha! moment" comes along, suddenly we are wide awake to the presence of God-- in our hearts, in our lives, in the world. 

As we wander slowly towards the Cross this week, precious Lord, we ask you to open our eyes to the wonder of you: your love, your promise, your amazing goodness. Thanks be to God. Amen.